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In order to come full circle, for her to truly come back to me, we need to hash it the fuck out for once and for all. I don’t tell her this though. Not now. She’ll clam up and be guarded and we don’t need to spend our first night here like that. Tonight we relax, unwind, rekindle. Tomorrow we talk. “Yes, we’re here and there’s no place I’d rather be. So let’s go inside so I can show you around and then get you naked in the hot tub.”
    “Now you’re talking, Mr. Murphy.”
    “Amendment to my no rule rule,” I blurt out when she calls me that. It’s always been a turn on.
    She looks at me, confused.
    “Keep calling me Mr. Murphy.”
    Her head falls back as she laughs. “You’re so weird. I forgot you like that.” She straightens up and then turns serious, flipping her long ponytail over her shoulder. “Strip and meet me in the hot tub in ten, Mr. Murphy.”
    See… sometimes playing by the rules can be a lot of fun.

 
     
     
    Of all the damn times to have one of those dreams, it had to be while Declan was awake to witness it. I hope to God I didn’t talk in my sleep! Oh, shit! Did I say anyone’s name? I couldn’t have… he would have said something to me. Or woken me up. Besides, Noah wasn’t alone in this one. Declan was there too. And just like in real life, I made the right decision. I chose him. My husband. The man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
    So why can’t I stop feeling bad for the way I left things with Noah? I have zero regrets. Zilch, nada, not one single iota of remorse, but I still hate that I broke his heart. It’s not like Noah’s a bad guy. That would have made the whole thing a lot easier. But he was nothing but good to me and I dragged him into the middle of my marital problems, strung him along, and then tossed him aside. What a bitch. He probably hates me. That’s why I’m having these dreams over and over… it’s the universe shoving karma down my throat and telling me to choke on it.
    “Mi, babe, have you seen this sick view?” Declan sings as he wanders around the house, as excited as a pig in shit.
    He’s so flipping adorable. He’s put everything into making sure I’m okay—that we’re okay. I just don’t have the heart to tell him that I’m still shook up by it all. I guess I’ll have to either come clean and bare my soul—he’ll understand, I know he will—or learn to live with the guilt. It’s probably what I deserve anyway.
    I walk out of the ultra-modern bathroom (which is not at all what I expected for a beach house in Newport), trying to keep my nerves at bay while scoping out what will be our digs for the next week. “Baby, this place is incredible. And huge ! We could have stayed somewhere smaller.”
    Dropping one of the carry-ons on the tiled floor, Declan runs over to me and scoops me into his arms. “Nothing but the best for my beautiful wife. You deserve this. We deserve this.”
    Sure, lay it on thick, buddy. Make me feel worse. I mean, why do I deserve any of this? I gave up on my marriage and nearly tore my family apart… all to fulfill some fantasy and live out a dream. I deserve nothing of the sort. I deserve to be alone.
    Registering my thoughts, Declan stares into my eyes. “Get out of your head, Mia. I hate that you’re beating yourself up. I know that’s what you’re doing.”
    Without even trying to hide it, I back away, searching his eyes for an answer. “How? How can you read me so well?”
    “Because I know you, better than you know yourself. I’m not a dumb man—”
    I tilt my head, and narrow my gaze. His act of dumbness is what made me flee in the first place, not that either of us could forget.
    “Okay,” he continues, “I’ll rephrase that. I’m not always dumb. I know you’re in a weird place. I know it’s hard to just go back to being normal when so much has… shifted. That’s why we’re here. Not tonight, maybe not even tomorrow night, but you and I are going to sit down and let it