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wasn’t getting the iron. He threw on a pair of jeans to replace his sweatpants, ran a brush through his thick mop of hair, wiped his thick black-framed glasses clean, then raced outside and across the street. He rang the doorbell of the beautifully landscaped two-story house, while stealing a glance back at his rental. Though Larry’s house was large, and perfectly nice, it was nowhere near as well-kept as the Radleys’. You could tell they cared about their home, whereas Larry did just enough to keep the assholes in the Rosewood Homeowners Association from kicking him out of the gated community.
    Katya appeared in the window beside the door, smiling as she recognized him.
    “Hi,” she said in a barely-there Russian accent as she opened the door. Her long blonde hair and blue eyes reminded Larry of a Swedish model he once knew, and he made sure to mute his natural inclination to flirt. First, she was too young — in her early 20s, while Larry was 37, and lately feeling 47. Second, he wanted to hire her, not date her. Plus, she seemed like a good girl, not at all the sort to tolerate his shit.
    “Hi, Katya, how’s it going?”
    “Good, and you?”
    “Good, good,” Larry said, “Listen, I’m wondering if you’ve got a job lined up after the Radleys move.”
    “Why? Do you have a child?”
    “Not exactly,” Larry said, suddenly realizing that Katya had never seen Abigail. Worse, he hadn’t thought of a way to explain Abigail’s relation to him. It wasn’t like he could tell the truth — that she was sold by her uncle to a pedophile monster who kept her in a closet until John came along and killed the fucker, saved the girl then turned her into a vampire after she’d been shot, accidentally by Larry, during a shootout with a squad of soldiers, all of them working for an alien. He imagined the door slamming in his face 10 words in.
    Yet, he couldn’t call Abi his adopted daughter.
    Can I?
    Larry wasn’t sure, and in that moment of uncertainty that inflated the pause way too long, he was afraid Katya would grow suspicious.
    “Well, it’s sort of complicated,” he shrugged. “I’m taking care of her, for a relative who can’t. But she’s a super sweet kid. She’s 11, and I just need someone who can maybe look after her when I work at night, maybe tutor her? Do you tutor?”
    “Well, I’m not a tutor, no, but I could help her study if you have coursework or something. Wait a second,” she raised her eyebrows. “You said look after her at night? How late?”
    Larry gave Katya his widest smile, “Yeah, about that … she’s got a rare medical condition where she sleeps during the day and is up all night.”
    Katya stared at Larry as if she were standing inches from bullshit. He held his smile, frozen on his feet, waiting for the door to close on him. “I don’t need you to stay up all night, just a few hours, maybe, from like seven to eleven or so. Just to keep her company, and let me finish a few extra hours of work.”
    “What kind of work do you do at that hour?”
    “I’m a private eye, but I mostly handle one client, a super wealthy guy, who pays me well to run his security, do background checks on employees, stuff like that. Most of the work I’m able to do from home during the day, but some things I need to tend to at night. That requires me leaving the house, but I can’t leave an 11-year-old girl at home alone, ya know. Too many creepy people out there.”
    Katya held his eyes, peering deeper as if trying to figure out exactly how full of shit Larry actually was. She seemed like a smart girl who would be able to notice the scent of his obvious lies. Just when he thought Katya was going to turn him away, she said, “What’s her condition?”
    “Um, I forget what they call it. But between you and me, I think most of it’s in her head, a psychological thing. She’s been through a lot, and I don’t want to make her feel bad about it, so I try not to pry or bring it up. I just deal