she didn’t think she could eat a bite of food, not even Eric’s cooking.
“You need to eat.” He strode to the kitchen and slipped an apron over his white dress shirt. He’d dressed in a suit for his trip to the bank, ditching his coat and tie when he got home. The only thing sexier than Eric in a suit was Eric in slacks and a dress shirt open at collar with the sleeves rolled up to show off his strong tanned forearms.
“Why did you ask if you were going to ignore my answer?” She meant the question to be playful, but he turned to face her, his gaze hot and laser focused.
“Because you obviously don’t always know what’s good for you.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” The last thing she wanted to do was pick a fight with him, not when he was doing so much to help her. But she absolutely didn’t need another man acting like she didn’t know what she was doing, She’d gotten more than enough of that from Caleb and her dad.
“Never mind. Forget about it. Tonight is not the right time to talk about any of this.” He looked uncomfortable, almost sheepish. Not a look she was used to seeing on his normally confident face.
“Did I do something to make you angry?” She watched expressions war across his face and decided to push. “Tell me. There isn’t anything you can’t tell me.”
“I don’t want to deal with it now. Let me feed you and take you back to bed. We can talk about it tomorrow after all this shit is over.”
“Why wait? I’m worried enough as it is. I don’t want to be trying to figure out what’s going on between us while I’m dealing with the situation with Caleb tomorrow. If you have something to say just say it. Have you changed your mind about helping me?” Her voice sounded small, and she hated it, but she didn’t want anything standing between them.
“Fuck no,” he said, scrubbing his hands through his hair. The muscle at his jaw tightened, and she could see he was wrestling with something. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she said, her heart leaping. She took a step toward him, but instead of moving to meet her he held his ground. “Is that a problem?”
“Fuck yes, it’s a problem. I love you. I loved you when I was nineteen, and I love you now. You are the only woman I’ve ever loved, Julie.”
As happy as the words made her, it didn’t look like they were giving him any pleasure.
“I don’t understand. Loving each other.” God, she loved saying the words. “That should be a good thing, right. So what’s wrong?”
“I love you, Jules. I want you all the damn time. I will never get enough of you.” He looked at her, his hazel eyes intense. “I’m just not sure if I can trust you. You have a nasty habit of leaving me.”
She wanted to shout at him, insist that he was wrong. Of course he could trust her, but he looked like he was in such pain. He wasn’t saying it to hurt her. He really wasn’t sure, and that destroyed her.
“I explained to you why I left – both times.” Christ, no wonder he was worried .
“I know you did,” he said, his voice softening a fraction. “I know, but how I am I supposed to know that it won’t happen again? Running seems to be your default response.”
The easy thing would be to scream at him. She could call him a judgmental bastard and bolt, buoyed by righteous indignation. It was much harder to deal with the truth. She had good reasons for leaving him – both times. That didn’t change the fact that she hadn’t trusted him with what was going on. She hadn’t given him a chance.
No wonder he was worried. He had every reason to be. They’d spent the Christmas holiday reconnecting – making love. Falling in love. And she’d left him again, sneaking off in the middle of the night with a two word note as her only explanation. She never intended to leave him again, but she hadn’t really intended to the first time either. In the heat of the moment, leaving simply seemed like her only