this rule in years. So many, in fact, you probably don’t understand the severity of punishment that goes along with this crime.”
Crime? Was he serious? He spoke as if this was the ultimate in crimes against humanity. My gut clenched for the hapless girl; her punishment would no doubt be painful. But I understood wanting to escape. The fact that I stood in snow to my ankles was only one reason.
Toni spoke of escape almost daily and planned to make it out before her time came. Before she was chosen. I admired her courage to speak openly about things the others were too frightened to consider. One day I would find the same courage in myself.
“You’re about to witness this punishment firsthand.” Gray teeth flashed from behind a vicious smile. “Your only assignment is to tell the tale, girls.”
He motioned to another guard, who opened the side door to one of the windowless detention rooms. In seconds, he dragged Toni out by her auburn waves, clutching so tightly to the crown of her head that she walked on her tiptoes. To her credit, she didn’t so much as whimper through her clenched teeth as she tripped along the path he dragged her on.
I gasped behind both hands. She hadn’t been at breakfast, and I had assumed she was only skipping the meal she skipped frequently because she preferred sleeping in to the bland food.
Toni’s entire body shivered in the cold. Her skin had turned a sick shade of blue. They’d been freezing her to death in there, I realized.
The guard threw her to her knees in front of Captain Porch. The soft snow flew away from her in a cloud. Slowly, she rose on shaking legs. She gritted her jaw and lifted her chin in a show of defiance. It must have taken all the strength she had to fight the urge to curl up into a warm ball, begging for his mercy.
“You understand what you have done wrong?” he asked loudly.
“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate.
“Then you understand what is in store for you?”
Toni met my eyes then, and I wish I could have read her mind. What must she be feeling? Did that determined gaze camouflage fear?
“I understand and accept it gladly,” she said and returned her fierce gaze to the captain. “Go on. Get it over with. I’m freezing.”
• • •
My legs weaken under me and I brace myself on the windowsill. Tears flood my eyes but they do not fall. Not yet. Behind me, Dr. Travista is standing. He is saying something I cannot hear.
I hear only Her.
Don’t you dare speak of it,
She says.
You are strong because of her. She wants you to fight.
But I do not want to fight, and I do not want to look at the snow, so I close my eyes. But this is worse because now I see Captain Porch reach for his handgun and press it to Toni’s head.
I open my eyes.
Now all I see is her blood in the snow.
And I am angry.
CHAPTER 7
C
alm down.
No,
I think.
What are you doing to me? You manipulate my dreams, and now you use them in my waking hours to taunt me.
Not dreams.
I clutch the sides of my head and clench my teeth.
Shut up! They are dreams. Toni and Wade and Foster and Noah and Sonya . . . they are not real.
You
are not real.
“Emma?” Dr. Travista grips my wrists and pulls them away from my head. “What’s the matter? Talk to me.”
“Nothing,” I say, but we both know this is a lie. I scramble for another response but can hardly think clearly through the pounding of my own heartbeat in my ears. “Headache.”
Dr. Travista feels my head, takes my pulse. “Let’s go run some tests.”
I yank my trembling hands free. “It is only a headache.”
The doctor edges around his massive decorative desk and presses a button. “I won’t hurt you, Emma. You know that.”
The tears I have been fighting fall freely now. I know what is coming and would rather tell the truth than deal with what he intends to do. “I do not want tests. Please. No more tests. I am lying. I do not have a headache.”
It is the truth he believes is a lie. I know this by