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yelled.
    I laugh ed. Mother screamed at Cotton to shut up.
    The video showed a ridiculously antiquated animation of a gyro-copter gentle pulling calm, smiling passengers out of the ocean as they cradled their seat cushions to their chests. We didn’t have seat cushions though, which made me worry a little. In the event of a water landing, the best Cotton and I could hope for was a quick death.
    An even more ridiculous cartoon about fire evacuation followed. This one showed people calmly waiting in line as smiling crewmembers opened up emergency doors in the airlocks. Tiny orange flames flickered in the background. It was nothing like the fire drills we used to have at school where kids screamed and teachers got trampled.
    The sequence changed, showing a boxy spaceship slowly rotating counterclockwise as it levitated through the stratosphere. “For some spaceships, a small amount of rotation or ‘yaw’ during takeoff is unavoidable,” the woman explained. “This is perfectly normal and does not pose any significant health risk. By bracing the head against the seatback, the passenger or crewmember can relieve the unpleasant sensations of vertigo or motion sickness.”
    The video showed another ship, this one cylindrical, short and wide. It spun violently. “In the unlikely event the ship strikes an atmospheric hot pocket, turbulent-mediated centrifugal yaw acceleration or ‘TMCYA’ may occur. Fortunately, this ship is equipped with stabilizer motors.” On the vid, small flashes appeared along the top and bottom of the ship. Each flash was a rocket pulse directed opposite the direction of spin. The spinning slowed down. “However, a small delay prior to motor ignition is unavoidable as the computer calculates force and trajectory. The passenger or crewmember may find this interval unpleasant.”
    The video ended and the busty bubbly blond bimbo thanked us. There was a pause, a flash across the screen, and the video repeated itself. We thought the ship was about to take off so we remained strapped into our chairs.
    After ten minutes I said, “You would think they’d have a countdown or something across the top of the screen.”
    Cotton nodded in agreement. Mother , still and silent, looked very apprehensive.
    We sat uncomfortably for an hour. I could hear other crewmembers in the passageway, walking around and talking loudly. Evidently they knew something we didn’t.
    After seeing the entire video through to the end seven times, I had the dialogue memorized. After fifteen times, I was extremely annoyed. Somewhere after thirty, I lost count and my mind began to play tricks on me. The busty bubbly blond bimbo had lost her Cub Scout jacket. Her pale blouse was made from a rather sheer fabric, and she had neglected to put on a bra. The fleshy parts of her body below her silk floral scarf and above her skirt were essentially unconcealed. Her monologue continued without change, however. I became hypnotized by the large concentric circles as they swayed ever so slightly back and forth like pendulums under her blouse.
    The video’s background changed. The abstract floating shapes and soft colors transformed into hard lines. She was in the engine room. She continued speaking but looked a bit worried. Her unnaturally large smile faded. The machines in the background suddenly zoomed forward, and her scarf got caught in a turbine and tightened around her neck. She gasped for air. Her face turned red and large purple veins bulged out of her neck and forehead. She struggled, pushing hard against the machine, but she couldn’t get herself loose. The scarf bit into her skin causing her neck to bleed. She opened her mouth to scream, but couldn’t, her windpipe constricted. What I heard was my own voice.
    Annoyed by my scream, Mother reached over and slapped the back of Cotton’s head.
    “Leave your brother alone!” mother screamed. “This is important!”
    “But I didn’t do nothing!” Cotton whined.
    “Shut up and watch