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idea how I was supposed to wield a sword with no physical body, but still it was comforting to know I had an option.
    It seemed like years had gone by. My initial panic faded into a sort of numbness. I held as still as possible, trying to appear stoic and resigned. Meditation, contemplation was absolutely beyond my abilities in any circumstance, but especially here in Aaru. I nearly wept when I felt him , warm and reassuring against me.
    Very poised, little Cockroach. You appear quite noble and centered here in your solitude.
    I wasn’t. Good to know I was a better actress than I was a liar.
    Can the others see us? Hear us?
    It had been at the edge of my mind, and the reason I’d tried so hard to present a strong front: just because I couldn’t sense any angels nearby, didn’t mean they weren’t there.
    If they come near, yes. Gabriel chased them all away. An audience isn’t in keeping with the purpose of this exercise. Adequate vibration levels and a centered spirit are best achieved in solitude.
    A whole lot of meaningless words, but at least I got the part where no one was around. I wondered for a brief second how my vibration levels were. I didn’t really care, but I was curious if Aaru had any sort of effect on me beyond the panic and strange itchy feeling.
    Of course, there is no improvement in your vibration level, no matter how your emotional state might appear.
    Ah well. I rested against him, in a non–body form of snuggling. This is where I felt centered. It wasn’t that his presence strengthened me, made me feel powerful. With him by my side, I felt at peace, as though I’d finally come home. He balanced me, as if we were at opposite sides of a fulcrum, even though we were folding into each other, resting together with our spirit–selves merging along the edges.
    I rejoice in your misdeeds, Cockroach, just so I can have these perfect moments with you in Aaru. I hate that our internal squabbles here have stolen some of that time from me.
    From us. I rubbed against him in a long caress, regretting my feelings of hurt and suspicion when he’d left me with Gabriel.
    So … are you sure there aren’t any others around? Because I’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist. And you did leave me yesterday with some very tantalizing promises.
    I surrounded him, taking him into my center, merging together. Then I quickly withdrew — teasing, to see how he’d respond. Angel fucking was one of the highlights of my existence, but I’d yet to do it in Aaru, where we could completely join without the need to retain a link to the physical. Just our spirit–selves, without fear we’d lose control and wind up dead. The idea was freeing. And beyond erotic. Sinning in heaven — it was totally on my bucket list.
    Bad imp. It is completely disreputable for someone of my level to join here in Aaru . I took heart that he sounded as if he had every intention of being disreputable. I don’t know if I can besmirch my reputation by even considering such a thing. Joining in Aaru — how terribly sinful.
    I would have rolled my eyes, if I’d had any. Oh, but it’s fine for you to do it out of Aaru? What happened before the war? Did angels sneak elsewhere to join, like human teenagers?
    No, before the war we joined where we liked. Things are changing, Cockroach, but we must allow for the reluctance many angels have to alter attitudes they’ve held for nearly three–million years.
    I thought briefly of Rafael’s comments, but there were more important things to do than mull over the politics in Aaru. I continued to stroke him, to merge sections of myself with him, only to pull back. Angels might want committees, studies, a million years to change, but I wasn’t about to wait that long. Fine. But I want you now, without the need to hold back. All of you joined with all of me, the way angels are supposed to be.
    If he’d been in physical form, he would have caught his breath. There was a second of hesitation, and then I