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The first few times I tried it, she didn’t even notice. One time Wanna caught me stealing Ellie’s stickers. I don’t know how Wanna does it. I never got caught in the orphanage. Wanna told me to say I was sorry to Ellie. I did to get it over with. Ellie said—
    That ok An-Ya. You can have them.
    Ellie would care if I stole her pink stuffed kitty. She calls it Sweet Pea. I wouldn’t want to steal it, because she sticks the kitty’s ear in her mouth all of the time. Sweet Pea’s ear is always wet with Ellie’s spit. I wouldn’t want to steal something so gross.
    66
    Dear Penny,
    Ellie is always asking me to sing with her. She sings with Wanna all the time. They have special songs that they sing together. They swing their arms and spin around the house singing. It makes me crazy. I watch them, but I don’t sing.
    In the orphanage the nannies made me sing for special people who would visit the orphanage. I hated it. I liked to sing for me, and I didn’t like to sing for other people.
    I don’t know who the special people were, but they must have been important. The men were always dressed in suits and the woman wore high heels and lots of makeup. When the special people came, the nannies acted different. They would pat my head and hold the babies with smiling eyes. And then they would always ask me to sing.
    Sing, An-Ya, sing.
    The nannies would shove me to the middle of the room, and everyone would stand around waiting for me to begin. One time I stood and stared at everyone and wondered what would happen if I didn’t sing. The nannies were getting nervous that I was taking so long to start. They were getting angry. It wasn’t worth a slap in the face, so I started to sing.
    67
    Dear Penny,
    Today Wanna made us do an art project. We sat at the dining room table, and she put out paints and markers and all different colored paper. Then she asked me and Ellie to paint or draw what made us feel scared. Wanna made a painting too.
    Ellie scribbled with the markers and made big dots with the paint. She said the scribbles were snakes and the dots were spiders.
    Wanna is a good artist. She painted a red car that was broken into pieces like a puzzle.
    I painted balloons. Lots of colorful balloons. I hate balloons.
    Then she asked us if we wanted to talk about our artwork. I said no. Ellie said yes and went on and on about her art. What was the point? I thought about asking Wanna about her car painting, but I decided not to.
    68
    Dear Penny,
    The Mean Boy in the orphanage stole things too. Except he wasn’t as smart as me, just stronger, and he got caught. If something was missing, then he was the first person that the nannies suspected.
    There was one nanny who had a watch. The watch had a red strap, and the middle of the watch sparkled with tiny jewels. She loved that watch and looked at it all the time. She was so proud of that stupid watch.
    One day I was walking down the orphanage hallway, and the watch was sitting in the middle of the floor. I couldn’t believe it. The nanny had dropped her watch. There wasn’t anyone but me in the hallway. I ran to the watch and picked it up and put it in my pocket. I knew what to do with it.
    I needed to be patient, but I needed to hurry. The nanny would realize her watch was missing soon. I hoped for the Mean Boy’s room to be empty. I got lucky. The big kids were all in the TV room. A lot of boys slept in the same room as the Mean Boy. But that day nobody was around. As fast as my feet could move, I crossed the Mean Boy’s room to his bed and tucked the watch under his pillow.
    Whatever happened to the Mean Boy must have been pretty awful. I saw the nanny drag him by his hair into the office and slam the door. I heard loud banging sounds. When he came out, he went to his room and sat on his bed. He stared at the wall the rest of the day. He stopped doing anything at all. He didn’t eat. He just stared at the wall. He wasn’t his same mean self for a long time.
    I didn’t