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week,” Max replied.
    “I will. See you Thursday.”
    I didn’t even care that they were talking about me like I wasn’t there. I kind of felt like I wasn’t there, at least not mentally or emotionally. After the Ash conversation and Max calling me ‘Sam,’ I just checked out ~ I had learned with Evie’s death how to allow the numbness to take over.
    “Come on Angel, let’s get you out of here,” Mason said as he kissed the top of my head. I allowed him to guide me through the back hall and out the door. I didn’t even hear him tell Marcus goodbye.
    “You okay to ride or you want us to take your car?” He asked cautiously, as if he was scared I would break down yet again.
    “The bike is fine.” Riding on the motorcycle instead of in the car allowed me several more minutes of silence to get myself together. Not to mention, there was something therapeutic about riding, and I could use all the therapy I could get.

    A few minutes later we were pulling up to his apartment, and I had managed to calm down and think a little more clearly. He helped me off the Harley and led me up to the third floor without a word. His silence made me nervous. I was afraid he was going to tell me that he really didn’t want or need to deal with my drama and all of my baggage, and I wasn’t sure I could take any more gut-wrenching moments.
    He unlocked the door, and I followed him in. He headed straight for the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of his refrigerator. I sat down on the couch and waited for him to join me. I knew that we had to talk about things; honesty was the only thing that could make this work.
    After he situated himself next to me and handed me one of the bottles, I opened my mouth to say something, but my mind drew a blank. I didn’t know how to even start the conversation. We were both looking forward, staring at the blank television screen.
    “Do you love him?” Mason asked expressionless, never turning his head.
    “Yes.” I admitted.
    “Does he want you back?”
    “He never had me.”
    He snorted and took a long pull from his beer.
    “What? What was that for?” I asked.
    “He’s always had you, Scarlett. I just had you on loan.”
    “That’s not true!” I exclaimed. I set the bottle down and dropped to my knees, moving to where I was kneeling in between his legs and forcing him to look in my face.
    “Look, I’m not going to lie to you, Mase . I love him. I will always have a special place in my heart for him. I can’t explain what it is between us…,” my voice trailed off. “But like I told him tonight, the feelings I have for him are dominated by hatred and disgust. I may find it in myself to forgive him one day, but I will never forget. I will never forget the pain he caused me, and I will never give him the chance to destroy me again.
    “I am far from being over Evie’s death or the feeling of abandonment that Ash left me with. It’s going to be a long, tough road ahead, so I’m just warning you now. If you don’t want to deal with all of this, I understand. I get it… really. I don’t have the best track record of making good decisions when shit hits the fan, but I’m working on it. Coming back here was a really big step for me, and already in one day I’ve faced some pretty serious shit. Not to mention, before yesterday, I have had sex one time. One time… with you… that’s it… ever. I just got back, and we got caught up in the excitement of it all. I just wanted to show you I was ready to give you everything… that I knew I had messed up and I was so sorry that I left the way I did. But it’s all just a lot for me to take in right now.”
    I paused and reached up to hold his face in my hands. I pulled his face down towards me as I sat up on my feet. Our foreheads were touching and our eyes lost in each other’s.
    “I need a lot of work, and I really want you to be here with me through all of it. It’s not always going to be pretty, but all I ask for is honesty.