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write about real life experiences.”
    “As I was saying,” Eleanor interjected and
not soon enough. “If you never ask you’ll never be able to move
forward, will you?” For once, my sister was actually speaking some
sense. “Look at Hema and me.”
    Jess and I both groaned. Eleanor’s new yoga,
vegan, Buddhist boyfriend, whose real name was Dwain, worked at Pet
City and lived with his granny in Palmers Green. He was actually
very sweet and had spent the last three weeks cleansing my sister’s
aura, not that my family, Guy or I had a bloody clue what cleansing
her aura entailed. But we all admitted she was a lot calmer. Okay,
he may have cleansed her aura, but her physical needs needed a
little more work. When Hema was around, she didn’t eat meat or
drink wine and coffee. Instead, she had oats, nuts and his homemade
nettle tea, as Hema sat, flexing, meditating and prophesizing
crossed legged on my living room floor.
    “He says true love comes from opening up your
heart. If feelings are kept inside how will we truly know each
other. Something about a sunflower needing sun. Oh, I’m not sure
about the sunflower thing.”
    Neither was I but the first bit seemed
logical. But by the sudden beam on Jess’s face I knew she knew what
Eleanor was saying. “Strike while the iron’s hot, Clare. You
have to admit Guy’s a catch. And have you ever been this
happy?”
    Bursting with excitement, Jess jigged around
in her seat. “Oh, Clare, do it tonight. Just do it. I can see it
now...a July wedding, you in oyster with peach flowers in your hair
and Olivia in peach, throwing flower petals down the aisle. You
could book a country manor. God, Guy would look so sexy in a
tuxedo.”
    That’s all I need...advice from my ex-nympho
party-going sister who has suddenly become a relationship guru and
Jess who is the chick lit queen and thinks every real life
relationship is a Jane Green Novel.
    “With Olivia at home this weekend, I hardly
think so. Unless you would like me to broach the subject, while
standing at the salad cart in Harvester tonight. Or Sunday lunch at
Mum’s seems to be the norm for discussing our relationship.”
    * * * *
    That night Guy came down from putting Olivia
to bed. He breezed into the living room, the biggest smile on his
face, and kissed me on the top of my head. “I’d forgotten how much
I loved The Famous Five stories when I was a boy. I hope when she
is a little older, she’ll let me read her Sherlock Holmes.”
    Well, I don’t think I would have been so
shocked if he had slapped me around the face with a wet fish.
    “But I expect she’ll be into.... What do
girls read when they get to twelve?” he shouted from the
kitchen.
    My pulse began to race.
    I looked at Eleanor’s lucky Buddha she had
left on the fireplace and then to the other trivia of fen shui she
had decorated my living room with, she and Hema saying it would
increase positive vibes and love.
    Bloody hell, this crap must be working.
Well, that has answered my question on where we are going. I mean,
he’s not talking five weeks or five months. He’s talking five
years. Are those the words of a man who wants a commitment? I
looked to the little Buddha, almost expecting him to give me a wink
or wave a hand, confirming I was right.
    In a shear act of anticipation that maybe
there was something in all this junk, I jumped up and lit a handful
of yin and yang joss sticks and began wafting them around the room,
feeling a complete fool, performing this stupid ritual that earlier
I had refused point blank to do in front of my sister and
boyfriend. Nevertheless, just to make sure, I wafted them around
the cheeky little Buddha, reciting. “Let him say yes. Let him say
yes.” I was now ready for the next stage.
    Commitment . Asking Guy to move in with
me.
    Bounding back to the sofa, I quickly cleared
my head and focused on loving and positive thoughts. Well actually,
I was thinking how best to seduce Guy and then ask him to move in.
No