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I’ll keep holding on for as long as you’ll let me.”
    Then he walked out and shut the door behind him.

 
     
    “Harper, can you take Allie for a second?” Em asked.
    She handed Allie over to me and I cradled her close to my body. “I’ll always hold my Allie girl.” I smiled and cooed down at her.
    Em started unpacking her hospital bag and settling in. They’d just arrived home from the hospital, but I had gotten there before them to make sure the house was cleaned up. Em didn’t need anything else to worry about. Finn had left to get Chinese take-out, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of Allie. She was such a beautiful baby. Her little cherub cheeks and her short eyelashes were sweet to look at as she slept in my arms. I was glad she was sleeping. I hadn’t been around babies that much, and even though I loved children, newborns were so … needy, that they made me nervous.
    “So tell me what happened with Kyler when he went to see you?” Em asked, with her back to me.
    I raised my eyebrows but she didn’t see. “Figures you would know he’d stopped by. What did you two do, scheme and plan it all out?”
    I wasn’t exactly mad at her for asking him questions since I was the one that had kept quiet about the split, but knowing that she had talked about me to him rubbed me the wrong way.
    As if she could read my mind she said, “It wasn’t like I was talking behind your back, Harper. But I was shocked when he told me that he had nothing to do with you two not being together. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me about it?”
    “It wasn’t a big deal, that’s why.”
    She stopped stacking diapers on her changing table and turned to look at me. “That’s just it … it is a big deal. I’m your best friend and we tell each other everything.” She paused. “I want to know, just please help me understand. Ky and you are a good fit, why would you push him away?”
    I thought back to the hotel room. After Ky had left my room I think I stood staring at the door for a solid hour. I couldn’t believe that I had allowed the asshat to talk me into going to New York for a week. I’d been fully prepared to hunt him down, beat him to bloody pulp, and drive his body to the mountains for ravenous bears to take care of. But when he knocked on my door and I heard his voice, all of that went out the window. My body craved him. And yet part of me had felt a tinge of sadness. I wanted to run into his arms, and yet I couldn’t.
    The fact that I even had that tendency just made me want to be even more brutal the next time I saw him. Yep, I decided that I would make him eat his words. My body might well betray me and beg for his touch, but everything else he’d said was crap. We didn’t go any deeper than sex. I didn’t do all of that lovey-dovey relationship bullshit. Why would I? I’d seen one too many relationships around me crumble because the couple either fell out of love, or the guy decided the grass was greener. Well fuck greener. I’d rather take a shit on that greener side and be the leaver than the leavee.
    “Listen, Em, I don’t want to be negative. Especially not right after you’ve just had this beautiful little girl,” I said, looking down and smiling at Allie’s little face. “Can we talk about something else? Anything else … please?”
    “No,” she said firmly.
    I sighed deeply beginning to lose my patience. “Fine, you want to hash this out, then let’s hash it out. How long have you known me?”
    She looked confused, but answered, “Just over fifteen years, why?”
    “When have I ever done the relationship thing?”
    “You never have, until Kyler.”
    I let out an aggravated laugh. “That’s right. Ky was the first guy I ever tried the relationship thing with, and even that was a shot in the dark for me. Have you ever wondered why that is, Em?”
    “Of course I have, and every time I ask you about it, you change the subject or completely ignore me. So let’s try