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I really don’t think that I went anywhere.’
    ‘You didn’t?’
    ‘No, I didn’t, well, I didn’t mean to,’ I grudgingly amended. ‘I tend to do that.’
    We turned left and continued on walking down the side path that lead to the rear of my dad’s cottage.
    ‘Do you miss him?’ Lucy went on.
    ‘Roy?’
    ‘Yeah.’
    After a beat I answered. ‘I don’t know. I mean, he was my world for a long time. I can’t just forget what we had.’
    Sceptically she said, ‘What was that, exactly?’
    ‘I know what you think of him, but I did love Roy. It wasn’t all bad, you know.’
    ‘It wasn’t all sex, drugs and rock and roll? Sounds like a blast if you ask me.’
    If I answered honestly I’d just feel humiliated. ‘He was what I needed at the time,’ was all I could say in all truthfulness. I noted Lucy’s dubiousness and felt compelled to protect Roy. ‘I never claimed that it was fluffy, healthy love, but it was love, nevertheless.’
    Suddenly Lucy laughed as if she’d belatedly remembered a joke. ‘Do you remember when Roy met you after school with his face all pummelled as if he’d head-butted a truck a million times?’
    I smacked Lucy’s arm, almost dislodging the casserole dish from her hold. ‘Why is that funny?! Do you know how much blood I had to clean up?’
    She was unperturbed by my exasperation. ‘Did you know that Nick did that?’
    I reached my arm out and stopped in my tracks. ‘ No way . I had no idea.’
    ‘Come on, Catey. You know how he felt about you. How he still feels about you.’
    I couldn’t speak. Of course I knew, but obviously I didn’t quite understand how deeply it ran. We continued walking.
    ‘He’d been down at Maisy’s getting the Sunday paper or something when he saw Roy and one of his mates,’ Lucy paused, recalling the name, ‘Martin, I think.’
    I blanched. ‘ Oh no .’
    ‘Roy was gloating about having control over you or about making you do something…I don’t know, exactly. Nick was pretty vague on the details when I pestered him about it. Martin was laughing, saying that you had a mouth like a —’ Lucy cut herself off when I visibly shrank with mortification. ‘Anyway, Nick just saw red and completely lost it. Roy didn’t have a chance to defend himself.’
    I struggled to put more than a two syllable sentence together, sounding as inarticulate as a moron. My throat ached as I fought all of my buried disgrace that threatened to spill out.
    ‘Maisy must have had a fit.’ I muttered my attempt to divert the conversation away from my shameful behaviour that had caused such a fierce reaction from such a gentle soul. ‘She’s probably never had a brawl outside the milk bar before.’
    ‘A brawl? It was pretty one sided, or so the gossip says. My point is: never doubt that he loves you, Catey. Marrying Nick…I hope your eyes are open and that you appreciate what you have.’
    Her tone was amiable but her intention seemed ominous. Was she warning me?
    ‘I’m aware of what being married to Nick means. He knows what he can expect from me.’
    ‘I just don’t want to see him hurt. Either of you,’ she amended, but I noted that I was an afterthought.
    ‘I will give Nick what he deserves. I’ll repay him his respect and love…I know I can love him the way he loves me, I’m sure of it.’
    Lucy’s look was once again dubious.
    ‘Would you for once believe me?’
    ‘I would if you didn’t sound as if you’ve been rehearsing everything.’
    ‘I refuse to reply on the grounds that it may incriminate me.’
    Lucy chuffed. ‘Been reading crime thrillers again?’
    ‘I’m practically choking on love and romance and the rest of the fluff that comes with a wedding. It’s all I can do to escape from it all; blood and guts being my only outlet.’
    ‘Everything will settle soon enough. Plus, let’s face it; once the baby arrives all romance will go out of the window.’
    ‘So I should lap it up while Nick can’t keep his hands off