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friends, and we text sometimes. He and Olaf dropped by the club one day to deliver custom boards to some members and they wanted a tour of the boat so I gave it to them. Then we went over to Jac’s boat and played Cards Against Humanity for five seconds until they realized there was no beer and left.
    You brought Lachie on purpose last night and were a shit to me from the time you walked through the door. Why’d you even come if you didn’t want to spend time with me and have a nice night? It’s like you were trying to trip me and Lachie up in something, prove some big point to us both. I assumed you knew that I still talk to him. I assumed that he knew I’m talking to you, too. You’re best friends and work and live together, right? Do you two not communicate at all? But, now that the confusion is all cleared up, maybe you can both chill out about it.
     
     
    Tuesday 25 th February 7.35am
    —Waikiki Yacht Club—
    Also, I just have to add that for someone who’s engaged and trying to reform his man-whoring ways, you were awfully handsy out there on the dance floor with Jacqueline. You’ll be glad to know she’s quite smitten and talked about you the whole ride home.  “Aussie Dreamboat...his body, those eyelashes...omg, blah, blah, blah...” Unlike you, I did not invite a friend in order to mess up the evening. Our parents were having dinner together over at the Japanese steakhouse on the other side of the resort and when she found out I was in the nightclub, she came running over. Thanks for pumping her full of Fat Yak all night and then handing that hot, slurring mess off to me. I could have smacked that shit-eating grin right off your face. She puked in the shuttle and I broke a good heel dragging her ass back through the marina. It’s a far freaking walk from the shuttle drop to the boat slips and she’s heavier than she looks. She’ll be calling you for surf lessons. Good luck with that. Anyhow, thanks for the great evening! Can’t wait to do it again!
     
     
    Tuesday 25 th February 8.04am
    —Waikiki Yacht Club—
    And from now on, if I want a Kody-Amelia buffer, I’ll be bringing Cristina, the voice of reason.
     
     
     
    Tuesday 25 th February 8.48am
    —Koa Boxing Club & Gym—
    First of all, in that original lesson that we had together, I was a stranger that you met on the internet, and you came in a bikini and got into the water with me and you pulled right up to the bumper with no hesitation at all.
    I didn’t look any more than I had to, and I didn’t touch you except where it was professionally required, so it’s pretty fcking offensive that, now that you know me better, you feel the need to bring an armed guard in case I get too ‘handsy’ with you.
    There is no doubt that I have my flaws, but you don’t need to bring Step Daddy, or Cristina, or anyone else to protect your virtue from me.
    You might think it’s a joke, but I’m actually a feminist. I think girls should have the same opportunities. I think they should earn the same and I think women’s sport should attract more sponsorship. I also think that women should be free to sleep with who they want to without all of the associated obligation or guilt. Because sex is great, and if you’re doing it right it can be the most exquisite way that you can honour someone and make them feel beautiful. And generally speaking, I am happy to oblige.
    Well, I was before I went back home for Christmas, anyway. All the times I got slapped it was because they came back for more, and I said no.
    You’re just not listening to me when I say that Lachlan doesn’t hold the same principles. He called dibs on you last night as if you were the last slice of pizza.
    So you’re either not listening to what I am saying, or you want to be treated like that. Lots of women do, and it makes me really sad because it means they don’t even know their own value. I see the women that go for him, and while I know they enjoy it at the time (the walls here