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creative fashion splicing worked on me, I just ended up looking like Lily Allen wearing Mick Jagger’s wardrobe.
    Pia and Dec lived an idyllic life in Holland, with other cool, equally genetically impressive wunderkinds. Last I heard they’d bought a houseboat and remodelled it to look like
2001: A Space Odyssey
, and
Wallpaper*
had photographed it.
    ‘I guess Holland could be nice…’
    ‘What about Tokyo?’
    ‘You’re crazy and I love you, but can we maybe talk about this tonight? I’m drowning in work.’
    ‘Of course. But we
will
be talking about this again, miss.’
    ‘Hey. Project Mansion is no pipe dream. We’ll do it.’

Chapter Five
The face-cream mafia
    The best way to find out if a lip colour will really suit you is to test it on your index fingertip, not the side of your wrist; this is the closest possible match to your lips. Tell your friends: they’re probably doing it wrong, too.
    Without a doubt, the most thrilling part of my job was the frenzied stream of products from cosmetic companies. I had to keep remembering that they were sending them to the magazine, and not me as a person, because it was very easy to get swept up in a spell of megalomania when you were constantly being sent Tiffany necklaces, perfumes, entire make-up collections from Giorgio Armani, and invites to the hottest restaurants.
    ‘Gosh, balls,’ I said to myself, blinking in amazement at this morning’s loot.
    I carefully opened parcels and bags from Lisa K, Estée Lauder, Clover, Lancôme and Voluptuous cosmetics. It was like Christmas. But the last thing I wanted was to appear greedy, so I simplysorted them into order of which month they would go into the shops – to be reviewed later in thematic order – and put some in my subtle ‘Take Home’ pile to try that weekend. There was even a full make-up collection from Blush, which I was
one hundred per cent allowed to have
. The note even said, ‘Please try these before you write about them as they are just heaven. We can send more for photography.’ I knew how much that stuff cost. A lot. It was what
celebrities
used. I tucked the box into the Take Home pile. I knew what Iz and I would be doing tonight.
    ‘Michelle was like that at first, too,’ Jacinta said, laughing, her voice coming from nowhere.
    I jumped a mile, feeling like a thief. I
hated
that my desk faced the wall and my back was to the door. Anyone could sneak up on me. Plus, I was pretty sure it was bad feng shui.
    ‘But you get over it, trust me. Soon every lip gloss starts to look the same, and even a Chanel palette won’t make you bat an eyelid. But knock yourself out. It’s all yours to use and abuse, baby. Have you got a system sorted yet?’
    ‘Yep, well, for now anyway: I put potentials in those boxes according to month’ – I pointed to a set of mammoth pink tubs – ‘and anything else in that crate’ – I pointed to a mammoth green tub – ‘which I get the interns to unpack into the beauty cupboard every few days.’
    ‘Nicely done! Can tell you’ve worked in admin. Michelle had no boxes, no strategy – it was always a mess. Used to drive Karen insane when the publisher would come for a “surprise visit”. You look nice. Where are you off to?’
    ‘My first big function.’ I grinned nervously. I had my first big beauty launch today, which meant I was finally going to meet all the other beauty editors for the first time, and beginrefining the art of professional chitchat.
    ‘I’m surprised you haven’t already been going to five a day. Don’t make that face, I’m serious! That’s normal for beauty girls!’
    I really hoped she was exaggerating.
    ‘Where is it?’
    ‘I think it’s called Vine?’
    ‘Ooh, yum. At least the food will be good, even if the event is painful. Now, any word from Jesse?’
    My heart sank at his name. It had been a week, and still he had made no contact. I thought that when he’d seen all of his belongings messily packed and waiting on his