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consider
pairing up to study,” Professor Parker said. “Being a lawyer is not a solitary
endeavor, but a team sport. You might as well get used to working well with
others now.”
    “What do you think?” Carter
whispered. “It would be convenient being on the same floor.”
    “No thanks,” I whispered
back. Even though, having worked at a law firm, I knew Professor Parker was
right. But Carter and I already had enough connecting us. It was hard enough to
keep him out of my head. I didn’t need to “work well” with him, too.
    “I’m smarter than I look,”
he said.
    “You failed this class.” Better
for him to believe that was why I was saying no.
    He sat back in his chair. “I
study at the library every night at seven if you change your mind.”
    I didn’t respond. He was the
kind of guy I would have “studied” very closely in my college-take-one days.
That could not happen now.
    As Professor Parker reviewed
the syllabus I realized he reminded me a lot of David. He had the same I can
kick your ass in and out of the courtroom confidence, the same solidity to
his frame that only being handsome and intelligent can bring.
    As much as I hated to admit
it, I kind of missed David, the arrogant asshole.
    We had never been in love,
but we had most definitely been in lust. His body taut and muscular from
bi-weekly squash matches, his perfectly pressed suits, his blue eyes reminding
me of vast desert skies.
    When class was over, I
rushed down quickly to introduce myself to Professor Parker. I was doing things
right this time and maybe I was also trying to avoid walking to my next class
with Carter.
     “Professor Parker,” I said,
trying to slouch. Having good, poised posture wasn’t something I learned until
my mid-twenties. It was still something I had to force myself to remember
sometimes.
    “Questions already?” he
asked, turning to me.
    “No, I wanted to introduce myself,”
I said, with a small wave, “I’m one Kate Townsend. You’re my faculty advisor.”
    It wasn’t something the
average freshman would probably do, but I wasn’t the average freshman anymore.
This time around I was going to be the model student. I was not going to slink
out as soon as class ended because I was hung over, or leave because I was
rushing to do what you did before you got hung over.
    “Oh,” he said, “how
forthright of you. I rarely even meet my advisees.”
    “I plan on attending your
office hours.”
    “Good for you. You may actually
get to call me Greyson,” he said with a smile that almost made me fall
backward. It wasn’t intentional. He was that good-looking.
    “I don’t drink,” I blurted
out, needing to remind myself of rule number one so I didn’t break rule number
two. Why was I even thinking about breaking rule number two?
    Because I wasn’t really
nineteen.
    Because it had been over a
month since anyone had touched me.
    I should have had sex with
David one last time before I left New York, though I was pretty sure he would
have said no. He probably would have said hell no . He might have missed
me too, but there was no doubt he thought I was a hot mess.
    When you’re used to having
sex on a regular basis and then it’s gone, I guess this is what happens. Or
maybe that was just me?
    Or maybe my problems with
alcohol actually had covered up other addictions.
    “Good to know,” Professor
Parker said, confusion permeating his face.
    I winced. I was such a jerk.
I might not have been able to control my thoughts about him, but he clearly
wasn’t having the same problem when it came to me. To him I was just any
other freshman.
    I forced myself to walk
toward the door. Anything so I wouldn’t have to think about how
twenty-nine-year old Kate would not only want to call him Greyson, but would
want to repeat it like a heartbeat—after she drank six hella-huge glasses of
Riesling, of course.
     

Chapter Six
    Kate
    After I emailed my mother that
I was alive and safe in Senegal and there would be