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women who
all rubbernecked when you walked in? Yeah, I’m really gonna
impress them.”
    “Whatever, man.” Carter chuckled. He laid on
the bench face up and began lifting weights while Terrance spotted
him.
    “So why did you decide to say at a
hotel?”
    “I told you why,” Carter said with a
strained voice as he lifted the weights.
    “Oh, I’m too loud? Okay, I am loud, but my
place is free.”
    “I’m aware of that, but I needed some time
to think…clear my head and get my life right, Tee. I can’t very
well do that with you having the TV cranked up, drinking beer every
night and watching Family Guy marathons.”
    Terrance chuckled. “Well, that’s how I relax.”
    “And there’s nothing wrong with that. I just
needed more quiet time.”
    “So anyway, what’s the latest?” Terrance
asked.
    “Um…she’s still not talking to me. She
refuses to answer my calls and text messages. I can’t get through
to her.”
    “I don’t know why you playing, dawg. Just go
to the house. I mean, it is your house.”
    “No. Shayla and I own the home
together.”
    “Really?”
    “Yeah,” he said lifting up the weights.
“Everything I own, she owns.”
    “And just how much does she chip in on the
mortgage?”
    “She’s my wife, Terrance. I take care of
her…not the other way around. Besides, the house is paid for.”
    “Well, it’s good you take care of her and
such being the case, you would think she would at least have enough
respect to pick up the phone when you call.”
    “I hurt her,” Carter said, and lifted the
weights so Terrance would put them back on the rack. Carter wiped
sweat from his forehead. “Let’s not forget that this is all my fault.”
    “But there has to be some sort of
resolution.”
    “And there will be. I just don’t know how
long it’s going to take.”
    Terrance sucked his teeth. “You’re a better
man than me. I would be over there right now if she was my
woman.”
    “Yeah, Terrance…it’s so easy for you to say
what you would do because it’s not you in this predicament. It’s
me.”
    Carter moved over to the elliptical machine,
moving his arms up and down.
    Terrance followed and said, “All I know is,
if you don’t stay up out of this gym every day, you’re gonna need
new suits to fit those biceps, Mr. Incredible Hulk. In the
meantime, I can let you borrow some of my suits…”
    Carter chuckled. “Terrance, you don’t even
own a suit.”
    They both laughed, then Terrance saw a woman
he knew who’d just walked through the doors. He told Carter he had
to run off and left him alone at the machine.
     
    Back at the hotel, Carter took another long,
steaming shower, slid into some boxers and sat on the bed, sipping
on a glass of Merlot, another relaxation technique of his in
addition to exercise. If he hadn’t thought of ways to relax and
calm his nerves, he’d go insane waiting for Shayla to offer him
some sign of forgiveness. And he’d go crazy thinking about what she
might have been thinking. And where was she last night?
    He took Jacob’s notebook from his briefcase
to read the final passage Jacob had written. It was a bit longer
than the other two entries and Carter was immediately struck by the
first sentence:
    I wish I was dead. Sometimes I feel that
way, other times, when I look at Shayla, I don’t. A part of me
wants to be here for her and love her and treat her the way a woman
is supposed to be treated. The other part of me regrets cheating on
her and she’s so busy making wedding plans, she hasn’t suspected a
thing.
    * ~ *
    Carter dropped the notebook and rubbed his
hands across his head. He was so disturbed by Jacob’s confession,
he stood up and paced the floor. Shayla was smitten with Jacob and
he’d cheated on her? Carter had every intention on letting Shayla
read these notes, but not after this. She could never know
this.
    He sat down again and resumed reading:
    I don’t even know why I did it. I love
Shayla, but deep down, I know I