about this right now?”
Greg stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “I’m afraid so.”
Li’l Ron sat up on the bed, grabbing the notebook and tucking it under his pillow.
Greg sat down next to him, drooping his shoulders, head down, and sighed. “This is some pretty grown-up stuff, but I guess you’re getting older than I’m ready for.”
His son said nothing; he just sat with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the closet door ahead of him.
“Well, I guess you’re pretty pissed, and you should be. I used to drink a lot when your mother and I first moved to Pennsylvania. You were only two, two and a half, and I was having trouble keeping work. The economy sucked then too. I’d be at home, you’d be cryin’. I felt like I was failing at everything, at every turn. So I did what I’d seen most men do in this town. I tried to drown those feelings. I guess I’m back in that same old wheelhouse, huh?”
Li’l Ron stared ahead. Greg continued.
“It only happened a couple times. I was trashed, your mom came home, and she was feeling the pressure too, being the bread winner, and then coming home to find me next to useless. She must have been holding it all back, because one night she came home and unloaded on me. And every boiling, nasty word she spewed was a fistful of hard truth that I didn’t want to hear. Problem was, every shot was a direct hit, and I just…lost it. I hated myself, I hated hearing out loud the things the annoying voice in my head had been saying for months. I hit her. I knocked her to the floor…and the hurt…in her eyes…”
Greg paused, wiping at the corners of his eyes.
“I dropped down next to your mother, and she held me. She held me .” Greg stood up, collecting himself. Something in his stomach was trying to devour everything inside of him. The black hole could only be filled with booze. At least, that’s what the weak part of him whispered.
“The same scene played out again a year later after I lost my job at the factory. Your mom held me again, blood running from her mouth, and she held me. I don’t know, son, maybe she made her mind up then. Maybe she knew I could never give you guys the life you deserved. I’m sure I had it all coming.”
Li’l Ron got up and looked him in the eye. His boy’s eyes were glistening, the tears holding steady, not yet released.
“Did you ever cheat on Mom in high school?”
“What?”
“Did you know Katharine Bell?”
“What? Ronnie, what…”
“Someone killed that girl. And someone…” His son stopped; the tears fell.
“What? Do you, do you know something about this? Do you know something about that girl?”
His son turned away again. “Dad, did you know her?” he asked.
Greg’s mind swooned. The black hole begging for more, begging for all of him. What the hell had his son stumbled into, and how?
Li’l Ron turned back to face him. “Did you?”
“I-I didn’t know her. She was a friend of a friend,” he said, feeling his insides slide away.
“Did you ever talk to her?”
“No.”
“Did you ever kiss her?”
“What? No, what… Where is this all coming from?” Anger poured over the pull in Greg Sawyer’s guts.
“I-I, I’d rather not say right now,” his son said, clamming up.
Greg stepped toward the door, opening it. “Ronnie, I’m sorry about all of my shit coming down on you. I am, and I don’t know what all of this is about, but I suggest you drop it. This is a small town. People don’t appreciate kids who go stirring up ghosts. I suggest you finish that homework of yours and keep your Hardy Boy antics on your shelf,” he said, pausing as he stepped into the hall. “Good night.”
Greg didn’t bother looking back; he just closed the door behind him, needing another drink.
Chapter Fifteen
Heath Barnes hated Jase. Jase adopted him when he was two, but only to win his mother over. The guy couldn’t care less if he were alive or dead. Straight As didn’t