Read Above His Station for Free Online Page B

all the necessary security checks – which were numerous, by the way – but even so, I still wouldn’t expect to just stumble across an unlocked door.’
    ‘I’ll bet they’ve got the dog’s bollocks when it comes to security. Retinal scanners, infra-red, ID card readers, big burly guards on every door and all that stuff?’ said the rat.
    ‘I should imagine so, yes,’ I said, wincing at the pain in my leg as I ascended a staircase parallel to the static escalator.
    ‘You think the guards will have guns?’
    ‘If they do, they’ll be awfully discreet about it. They’re British, after all,’ I replied.
    ‘How about those cool scanners that can tell if someone’s lying?’
    I frowned. ‘I’ve not heard about them.’
    ‘They’ve got them at the Pentagon.’
    ‘Really?’ I said, not overly interested, but never one to be rude.
    ‘Oh, yeah,’ said the rat. ‘They’ve even got pressure-sensitive flooring, so if anyone breaks in this big metal cage drops down from the ceiling and traps them. The CIA or FBI or whoever will be there in, like, seconds .’
    ‘I’m pretty sure they don’t have those at the palace,’ I said.
    ‘Shame.’
    ‘Isn’t it,’ I said.
    At the top of the stairs our (I say “ our ”, but I really mean “ my ”) next obstacle was a thick glass partition that sealed off the entrance to the next tunnel, the direction that I presumed we needed to go, seeing as there wasn’t any other choice.
    ‘Crap,’ said the rat.
    ‘Indeed,’ I agreed, inspecting the partition with due care and attention.
    It was rubber-sealed all the way along the bottom and the sides were slotted into very thick metal runners set into the walls. The partition obviously descended from the tunnel ceiling, as I could see a thin shaft of light through the gap above my head.
    ‘I can’t see any sort of control mechanism to raise it,’ noted the rat.
    Nor could I, but beyond the glass and fixed to the wall was a security camera.
    ‘Maybe if we wave our arms about they’ll see us and open up,’ I said, glancing down at my companion. ‘On second thoughts, maybe you should leave the waving bit to me. They might think you’re rabid.’
    ‘None taken,’ mumbled the rat.
    I placed both my satchel and my companion on the floor and proceeded to look like a professional simpleton as I waved my arms up and down, desperately trying to get the camera operator’s attention. There was no response at all. I banged my fist on the glass several times, but still nothing. I jumped up and down on the spot, but still nothing.
    ‘And you were worried they’d think I was rabid?’ said the rat.
    ‘It’s not as if I do this very often!’ I said, brusquely. ‘Can’t you squeeze through that gap up there and see if you can open it from the other side?’
    ‘Why don’t you squeeze through the gap up there and open it from the other side?’
    ‘Because I’m not a bloody rat, am I?’ I said, quite accurately as far as I was aware.
    ‘What’s being a rat got to do with anything?’
    ‘Your lot are well-known for getting into tight spaces, aren’t they?’ I said.
    ‘Wait – “ your lot”? Do you have any idea how offensive that is?’
    ‘Oh, for goodness sake!’ I snapped. ‘If you’re not prepared to contribute-’
    I was cut off as a screech of static echoed around the confined tunnel. It sounded just like a voice. A bit robotically disfigured, but a voice for sure. It was then that I spotted a tiny panel inset to the wall. It contained just the one button and a metal grille, through which I presumed the voice had just emanated. I stepped over to it and pressed the button.
    ‘Hello?’ I enquired.
    “ Hello? ” replied the voice through the control panel.
    ‘Oh, thank the Lord!’ I said. ‘Pardon me, but my name’s-’
    “ Hello? ’ said the voice once more.
    ‘Hello, yes. Listen, I’m the station guard and there’s been an accident! If you could just raise the barrier for me, it’s