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his sight but lost the gift of extraordinary hearing. Not that he became deaf, but his hearing was no longer so remarkably acute.”
    “And you?” he asked carefully. “Can you also hear heartbeats?”
    “Unfortunately not.”
    Dr. Erikson looked at his watch, skepticism palpable on his face.
    What do you want here?
    The moment I had been dreading the whole time.
    —Keep quiet, I commanded her.
    What do you want from this man?
    —Help. I want help.
    You don’t need help.
    —Oh, yes I do.
    This man can’t help you.
    —Why not?
    Because he didn’t understand a word you said. He thinks that people see with their eyes. How is he supposed to help you?
    —How do you know that?
    It’s plain to see.
    “Is something wrong?”
    “What would be wrong?”
    “You’ve gone pale. Your lips are quivering. Are you hearing the voice now?”
    I nodded.
    “What is it saying?”
    “That I don’t need any help.”
    A knowing smile flitted across his face. “Anything else?”
    “That you cannot help me.”
    “Why not? Has it revealed that to you, too?”
    Tell him. He doesn’t understand you.
    I thought about it briefly. “No, it hasn’t.”
    “I figured as much. The voice within you feels threatened by me. It’s a typical defensive reaction.”
    He’s crazy.
    “Try to ignore it.”
    “If it were that easy I wouldn’t be sitting here.”
    “I know, but try. You need to learn how. Just let the voice talk. Don’t listen to it. Whatever it says is unimportant. It has nothing to do with you.”
    He’s got no idea what he’s talking about. He’s nuts. Trust me. He’s a typical Saya Gyi.
    What was a
Saya Gyi
? I thought about U Ba. I thought about Amy. My head was spinning.
    “I’m going to prescribe Zyprexa,” I heard him telling me as if through a wall. “Take five milligrams later today and then the same amount every evening for the next seven days. That will help you. It can cause side effects. You’re likely to feel tired and sleepy for the first few days. You should take the rest of the week off from work. Many patients also complain of weight gain. Dizziness. Constipation. In most cases it’s temporary. No action without a reaction. But with this medication you’ll be ready for work again just after Thanksgiving, at the latest. You should come to see me again in a week. You’ll be doing much better by then. I promise.”
    I had what I wanted: a first diagnosis. A prescription and a confident assurance that it would work. All the same, I left the office more stressed than when I had arrived.
    THE CLERK AT the pharmacy explained the side effects of the medication a second time, but I was too exhausted to pay close attention. Back at home I went straight to the kitchen without even taking off my coat. I filled a glass with lukewarm water, took the medicine out of my pocket, and pushed a pill out of the packaging.
    Don’t take it! Leave it alone.
    Try to ignore it.
    It’s not going to help you.
    You need to learn how. Don’t listen to it.
    Don’t do it.
    Whatever it says is unimportant.
    I put the pill on my tongue and took a mouthful of water.
    Shortly thereafter I was overcome by an infinite weariness. I lay down on my bed fully dressed and went right to sleep.

Chapter 6
    IN THE DAYS that followed the voice continued to torment me with questions; at night she woke me with her sobbing. The lack of sleep was wearing me down. My body ached; I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I would put the newspaper down after only a few minutes. Reading a book was out of the question.
    No matter what I was doing, no matter where I went or what I saw, I thought of nothing but the voice in my head. Even when she was quiet.
    I apologized to Mulligan in a dramatic e-mail referring to serious health problems on which I did not elaborate; further rigorous testing was going to be necessary. He replied full of concern and wished me a speedy recovery.
    On one of my restless wanderings about the city I noticed a man in the