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On more than one occasion, Rick and Chris had to bite their tongues as they foresaw a blowout from comments Shawn had made. Shawn was truly antimilitary and antigun, and he justified this by telling them he considered himself a pacifist.
    Not long after the RV had been buried, Chris was the first to kill someone. The intruder had been trying to steal food from the cabin when he saw Chris and shot at her with a rifle. After that she felt not only anger but also resentment toward Shawn. She never had wanted to kill anyone, but it had been either him or her. At the time she didn’t see any other solution. Nevertheless, as time passed, Chris knew she couldn’t change what she had done. It took some time, but eventually she forgave herself.
    As time passed she and Rick had found themselves in situations that had forced them to kill. It was the one thing Chris found the most difficult to get past in her life. However, truth be told, it also was the one thing she found she was good at.
    Rick had told Chris, “The first time you kill is the hardest.” For Chris this couldn’t be closer to the truth. Shawn, on the other hand, was less forgiving. After the first time, he made every attempt not to speak to Chris or Rick.
    Rick and Chris also had grown very close, and Shawn couldn’t understand what she saw in a man almost ten years older than her, someone Shawn considered a murderer. Shawn, blinded by jealousy, quickly had forgotten that they’d helped him while he was injured and that they had welcomed him into the cabin. Nor did he care that Rick and Chris protected and fed him when he refused to pick up a weapon.
    Repeatedly they put themselves at risk for food or supplies, but he didn’t seem to care. He felt they were throwing their relationship in his face, and he was an unwanted third wheel.
    Shawn was young, and Rick knew this, so he was willing to overlook his behavior and allow him to stay, regardless of how little he contributed to the group. Under his rough exterior, Rick was a soft soul who wanted the best for those around him, even Shawn.

    It was an early morning in October, and Rick was still sleeping when he heard the gunshots. He sat up and looked around the dark room. “That was right outside,” he murmured, almost holding his breath. Then he heard three more shots, one after another. Within a second Rick was up and moving.

    Chris was outside, gathering firewood. The weather was cooling fast, and a slight breeze chilled her skin.
    As she worked, she thought about the many circumstances that had forced her to become a woman when she felt she should still be a girl. Almost twenty years old now, she thought of Rick and her deceased mother and how she had shot and killed many people. She wondered whether those people had a families and why things had changed so quickly.
    She also wondered whether things could ever be the same again and whether she even wanted things to go back to the way they were. She’d been so unhappy before the fall of Brick Creek, and now that she was finding peace in her life, the world had fallen apart around her.
    Chris stopped and sat near a tree for a moment. All at once a wave of emotion consumed her. As she rolled on her side and curled up in the fetal position, tears poured from her eyes, which she didn’tattempt to try to hold back. All the emotions she’d held inside for so long were exposed.
    She sat up for a moment, wiped her eyes, and looked around to ensure Rick wasn’t near. She couldn’t let the one person she cared so much for see her like this. They’d been living together for nearly a year, and every day they seemed to be growing closer. He was the first person she had let in so closely. Nevertheless she still felt he eventually would lose interest, like all the men she had known before.
    Chris lay back down and continued to weep. The ground felt cold against her body, but she hardly noticed. Unsure how long she had been there, she attempted to regain her composure.