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urgent medical treatment, and partly, I think – well, you must know this, Max, he’s quite fond of the pair of you. I don’t think he could face …’
    He stopped and then, not looking at me, said, ‘I don’t think he could face watching you die. And he would have, Max. He would have stayed with you to the end, talking to you, trying to help you, letting you know you weren’t alone, watching you die by inches – loss of blood, shock, thirst, whatever. And so would I. And Dieter. And Peterson. Most of the unit was packed into the monitor room, cheering you on when you took its head off.’
    ‘But it wasn’t dead.’
    ‘Well, we didn’t know that at the time. But it is now. Dead and gone. Don’t think about it any more. Later.’
    ‘No, let’s get it over with. I’ll give you my verbal report now.’
    He fished out a small recorder and I gave him the bare bones of the mission, ending with my declaring a Code Blue. He knew all the rest. I felt exhausted when I’d finished.
    He put down his tea, took mine off me, and pulled me on to his lap. I made myself comfortable.
    ‘Stop wriggling or I’ll embarrass us both.’
    I took a deep breath. There was more to be said. ‘You do know it’s not just my face, don’t you?’
    ‘Well, I watched you nearly hack off your own feet. Your technique needs work.’
    ‘You saw that?’
    ‘We saw everything.’ Unconsciously, he tightened his grip. Without emotion he said, ‘When all the screaming started and you went down, I thought you were being butchered.’
    He took a deep breath. ‘That was – not a good moment. Look, now is not the time, but when you’re well again, there’s something I want to talk over with you. Something important.’
    ‘That sounds serious. What’s the problem?’
    ‘No problem at all. And it’s not urgent.’
    ‘You said it was important.’
    ‘It is to me. You might have a different point of view.’
    ‘No, tell me now. You know how things can be at St Mary’s. How often do we get an opportunity to talk together? About something non pod-related, I mean.’
    ‘All right. I wanted to say …’
    The door slid open, Peterson walked in, the moment was lost and I forgot all about it.

Chapter Five
    A week later, I was as free as a bird. I packed up my few belongings, which now included a ten-foot-long scarlet snake with black felt eyes and a big green forked tongue. I’d made it from red stockings, stuffed and sewn together. The only sewing I’d ever done in my entire life. The stitching was erratic and the eyes lopsided. I still have it, curled up on the top shelf in my office.
    Leon drove me back to St Mary’s. We drove slowly so we could have some time together.
    He dropped me at the front door. ‘Go and see the Boss. He’s been a little – concerned.’
    I bounced up the stairs. It was so good to be back.
    Mrs Partridge sat at her desk. ‘Go straight in. He’s been at the window this last half hour.’
    No, he wasn’t. He was at his desk, buried under paperwork. I skipped across the carpet radiating health and beauty.
    ‘Good afternoon, Dr Bairstow.’
    He wrote on to the end of the line then looked up, his resemblance to a beaky bird of prey even more pronounced than usual.
    ‘Dr Maxwell. Why are you wearing a red snake in my office?’
    ‘Sorry, sir. Whose office should I be wearing it in?’
    There was a bit of a silence.
    ‘I understand the medical profession has washed its hands of you.’
    ‘Yes indeed, sir. They’ve declared me perfect and there’s no more they can do for me. I’ve been released.’
    ‘I prefer the word unleashed .’
    ‘If you like, sir. I wouldn’t want to sully this happy moment by arguing with you.’
    ‘Let me take advantage of your generosity. Light duties for a month.’
    ‘Surely not, sir. They told me …’
    ‘Are you sullying the moment, Dr Maxwell?’
    ‘Perish the thought, sir. Just readjusting your perceptions.’
    ‘And exactly which of my perceptions need