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mind,” she said. “I think you did.”
    â€œDid he?” I said.
    Three days later it was over for my father and me. Andy came through the door. Nina hurried to him with the mop. They stood beside the refrigerator. They were watching each other as though for a false move. I held my breath. They had caught me up in it.
    Andy didn’t know what to do and so he swept off his hat. His curly black hair jumped in a coil. Nina sighed. Andy was swallowing so hard that his bowtie fluttered. They came together in a kiss. The mop fell to the floor. Nina was clinging helplessly and they swayed there in the gold slanting haze of sunlight. I turned away in a kind of shame. For some reason my heart swelled with pity for my father.
    They eloped on that very night. My father was working the afternoon to midnight shift in the mill. Nina came to me in the bedroom before going away. She sat on the bed and took my hand.
    â€œPaul,” she said. “Are you awake, Paul?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œCan you hear me, honey?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œListen to me, Paul. I won’t be seeing you for a few days. It’s just a few days. I’m going to marry Andy.”
    â€œAll right.”
    â€œAre you really awake? Do you understand what I’m saying?”
    â€œI guess so.”
    â€œLook at this. Andy brought you something.”
    â€œI don’t want any candy.”
    â€œHe brought you something else.”
    â€œWhat is it?”
    â€œHe brought you a harmonica.”
    I took it. The gold of it was warm and moist from her hands.
    â€œTell him thanks.”
    â€œYou can play songs, Paul. You can play songs for everybody.”
    â€œI guess so.”
    â€œAnd you can play a song for me when I come home. I’ll be here on the weekends to clean the house. Is it all right, Paul? Say it’s all right. I love Andy and I have to be with him. Can you understand?”
    â€œYes.”
    She was beautiful. Her black shining hair held the light and her dark eyes were big and soft with tears. She touched my face and I thought of my mother. Suddenly I realized how much I loved Nina. Now it would never be the same with us. She belonged to Andy. I remembered that kiss and I hated him.
    â€œI feel so bad inside,” she was saying. “So bad.”
    â€œWhy should you?”
    â€œIt’s like I’m doing a wrong thing. I shouldn’t be leaving now. I shouldn’t be leaving you and Pa alone here.”
    â€œWe’ll be all right. I’ll take care of things.”
    â€œOh, Paul, I love you so. It just seems like you realize things too late. And I love Pa, too, with all his ways. Why can’t things ever be perfect? Why is life so hard all the time?”
    â€œDon’t go crying.”
    â€œI was thinking about Ma, too. I was wondering what she’d say if she knew I was leaving like this. It’s a selfish thing, Paul. I feel ashamed of myself.”
    â€œDon’t talk like that.”
    â€œI think Pa’s right. There’s a worm in the fruit. Wouldn’t it be awful if he’s right about everything?”
    â€œI think he’s wrong. I really do.”
    â€œI’ll pray for us. I’ll pray with all my heart. And I’ll be here on the weekends to help out. You’ll see. Tell Pa.”
    â€œYou know what?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œI wish I could play this harmonica right now. I’d play a song for you. Just for you to be happy, Nina.”
    â€œOh, Paul.”
    Tearfully, we hugged and kissed each other.
    Just about then Andy was down in the cellar stealing a quart of wine. He failed to closed the spigot tight and the rest of that last barrel dripped away in the night while my father was raving.
    My father never forgave him. Sometimes I went down the cellar and found him gazing at the old bloodlike stain in the cracked cement of that floor.

4
    A girl may not know how to prepare a meal or sew on a button or