than five minutes. Well, Elaine, how have you been? Lorraine says physics is giving her fits. Are you getting it? Maybe you girls can work togetherâ¦.â
âMom!â Lorraine is suddenly in the conversation. âI donât need a tutor.â
And I donât want to tutor you either
. I remember what else I donât like about Lorraine. We used to be close friends until I figured out why she started hanging around at my house: Simeon. Every time he showed up, she turned into giggle girl and I turned into one person too many at my own house. What was really rough, though, was when she dropped me as a friend and started dating Sim the next week. Then it was like
both
of them had something better to do than hang out with me. I was really happy when Simeon dumped her. I never could figure out what he saw in her.
âIâm sure Elaine is hearing from all kinds of collegesâLorraine is hoping for early admission to Stanford.â Mrs. Hesseltine is still babbling, smiling at Mom. âYou know, we should catch up sometime. Give me a call next week. Iâd love to come by for lunch!â
Iâm happy when Mrs. Hesseltine finally stops talking. At the rate weâre going, weâll never get the groceries done, and Iâm hoping Mom will have some time to hang out in the kitchen with me before she leaves for work. Everyone is exchanging pleasantries, and I mutter an unenthused, âBye, Lorraine,â when Mom pokes me with her elbow. All I want to do is get home.
âWhy didnât you talk with Lorraine?â Mom asks as soon as we get away. I knew she would.
âShe was on the phone, Mom,â I say defensively. âI know you think I donât make an effort, but I do. Lorraine and I arenât exactly friends anymore.â
âI know,â Mom says slowly. She glances over at me as she pushes the cart toward the checkout counter. âSometimes I wonder if you donât need more of a social life, Lainey. Maybe you should get out someâ¦do something fun. You know, the teen years just go by so fast. Next year youâll look back, and
whoosh!
youâll be diving into college, and itâll be over, and youâll have spent all your time with your old mom. We need to get you out there. I know Anaâs boy is so friendlyâIâm sure he wouldââ
âMom.â
All I need is to be paired up with âAnaâs boy,â Christopher Haines. Really, my life can get no worse. â
Please
donât start this again.â
âIâm only making a suggestion,â my mother says, looking resigned. âLainey, I just wonder if youâve gotten too isolated. Donât you keep up with any of your friends anymore?â
âIâm fine, Mom.â I start unloading our cart onto the conveyor belt. âEverythingâs fine.â
Â
Smashing bananas was one of the first jobs Mom ever gave me to do in the kitchen when I was three, and I still do it by hand, with a fork, so the bananas in my banana bread are nice and chunky. Today I am doing it hard and fast, with violence.
Itâs a good thing banana bread is easy. I need something easy to make right now, something that doesnât take my total concentration and that will turn out well no matter what I do. Mom talked to me all the way home about âopening up to new experiencesâ and not âsetting my standards for friendship unrealistically high.â Where does she get this stuff?
I address my invisible audience again. âPlace the banana purée into the bowl with the other wet ingredients and stir gently. If you need something to pulverize, you can crush your allspice with a handy mortar and pestle.â
The cool stone pestle in my hand and the scent of the spices calm me a little. I know Mom means well, I do, but I feel freakish when she points out how different I am from other people in my class. Yeah, I know most of them would rather hang
Lacy Williams as Lacy Yager, Haley Yager