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laughing like loons, wind whipping tears from the corners of their eyes.
    They cut off the trail and crossed country where the footing became less commodious. Still blowing from the run, they picked their way over the rocks to a promontory overlooking the ranch. They stepped down and loosened the cinches. The horses took up the slack with swelling sides and lowered their heads to the slim pickings between the rocks. Jesse and Larry hunkered on the gray ledge.
    The silence of the woods and the valley below was deep. They sat without words till a wind rustled and a cloud mass blotted the lowering sun casting streaks of bronze and purple through the trees. Jesse spoke, as if his voice had rusted, “Every which way you turn on this place, you’re lookin’ at a postcard.”
    â€œYeah, I’ve got a real fondness for this country,” answered Larry as he reached into his stained vest pocket and came out with a thin silver flask.
    Jesse pointed off at the distant mountains. “Look at that light.” A thin silken sash of violet strung between two peaks binding them one to the other. “Makes me wish I could paint.”
    â€œYou could paint my barn.” Larry held out the flask. “My dad brought this up from Arizona. Some old teamster makes the stuff in his barn. Tell you what, I think it’s better than Wild Turkey.”
    Jesse took a mouthful and swallowed. “Damn.” He handed it back to Larry who did the same and then gave the flask to Jesse again. And so it went. There seemed to be in the silence between them a license to communicate in thoughts and feelings as roadmaps for words. Larry pulled off his sweat-darkened hat and scratched in his hair that was longer than cowboy culture would dictate. Larry was always his own man. Finally, he spoke. “So how you doin’?” He turned his head and peered with ice-blue eyes, inquisitor-like, straight into Jesse’s face. “How are you really doin’?”
    A huge feeling had been gathering in the privacy of Jesse’s heart. It took a while, but before he knew it he was talking like he’d never done before. “You know what…Meeting those folks Bear and Ruby.She got me going, telling me about her son…she talked about it so easy. Made me realize what I’m holding inside. Sometimes, I feel like I’m gonna explode… other times, I feel like I’m dead.”
    Larry handed him the flask. “I left you a drop, hell, you’re a guest.”
    Jesse emptied the flask. “I have to remind myself to breathe. Sometimes I just quit breathing.” He filled his lungs with Colorado Rocky Mountain air and slowly let it out. He turned over the flask and absently shook it. “I can’t help thinking I could’ve been smarter. Seems like I should’ve been able to…prevent it.”
    â€œWell, you know that’s not true.”
    â€œStill it seems like I…like I could’ve…done more…” He laid back, adjusted his head on the rock, pushed his hat over his face and spoke into the hat. “I used to smile a lot. Now, I have to remind myself to smile. I’ve lost my fire.”
    â€œIt’s gonna take time…you probably never get over it.”
    â€œI swear to God, sometimes I feel…sometimes I feel like I could just fold it all up…real easy.”
    â€œHow do you mean?”
    He handed the flask back to Larry. “I don’t know. Just…kinda quit. It’s like I lost that fighting edge. And yet let some son of a bitch look at me about halfway cross-eyed and I’m likely to offer to tear his head off. I’ve never been like that. I’m gettin’ to be a cranky bastard. It’s a mighty wonder anybody’d want to be around me.”
    â€œWell, you know I never did care for you much myself. So I can’t say as I see all that big a change. You got a woman in your life?”
    Jesse shook his