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breath.
    There is one from when Andrew and I had our first Christmas together back in 1987. We were just nineteen when we moved in together. We were expecting Jackson in just a few short months. There is one from when we got married in 1988. Then, of course, we have one from when each of the kids was born. Alex and Ryder have one as well. Olivia, Caleb and Alexis will be have theirs added to the tree tonight when everyone is back and have eaten. There are so many memories on that tree that I can’t help but smile and be thankful for everything that I’ve been given through the years.
    The oven beeps in the distance letting me know that the lasagna is done that I had tossed in right after I pulled the last tray of cookies out. I glance down to see that Alexis is almost back to sleep again and Alex’s eyes are growing heavy.
    “I’ll get it,” comes from behind me. I turn to see Hailey wiping the tears from her eyes as she smiles down at us. Mason grips her shoulders pulling her back to his chest and kisses the side of her head.
    “Thanks, sweetie.” I whisper.
    I glance to Andrew who is holding the bottle for Caleb who is wide awake staring at the tree. Ryder is sleeping with his head resting on Andrew’s arm. Little Miss Olivia is still sitting between us but now has fallen asleep on Andrew’s other arm.
    My handsome husband smiles at me. It’s the kind of smile that warms your soul. The one that tells you without saying the words that he loves you unconditionally even after all these years. I wink at him and then glance down to Alexis who is starting to suck air from the bottle. I remove the bottle and lift her so her head is resting on my shoulder. I pat her bottom a few times seeing if she’ll wake up or stay asleep. If she’s anything like Mason she’ll be out again and won’t be waking up for a little while.
    Mason comes around and takes his daughter from me. He kisses her little nose and smiles down at her before placing her back in the Pack ‘n Play and covering her up. Then he turns and looks for his boy. The one I know will be a heartbreaker like his daddy but will only really ever have eyes for that one special girl.
    “Come here, big guy.” Mason says lifting Caleb from his dad. Three generations of Cahills stand before me. They are so handsome with all those Cahill genes.
    I stand from the couch and place a kiss on Mason’s cheek. “I’m going to go check on dinner.”
    “Mom,” Mason starts to say. He looks toward the kitchen and then down to Caleb. “She’s having a hard time.” He sighs. “She wants this, what we have, with her mom. She wants her mom to want to see the kids and spend time with them like you and dad do.” Mason adjusts Caleb in his arms. “With the wedding coming up and all I think everything is just hitting her hard this year.”
    “I’m sure she’s having a hard time, Mason. I couldn’t imagine not seeing my daughter and grandkids or even being at her wedding.” I reach up and cup the side of his face. “But she’s got everything she’ll ever need right here.”
    As I walk away I hear Andrew say to Mason. “You should listen to your mom. She’s normally right when it comes to this type of stuff.”
    Hailey is leaning up against the kitchen counter wiping her eyes with a napkin. I slide up next to her and wrap my arm around her waist while resting my head on her shoulder. She places her head on mine and the sobs start again.
    “I’m sorry, Hailey.” I squeeze her arm in comfort. “I’m sorry your mom isn’t the mom she should be to you.”
    She continues to cry as we stand there in the kitchen together. It’s good that she’s letting it out. It won’t do her any good holding it in. She’s missed out on something as simple as her mom holding her while she has a good cry her entire life. Hailey just wanted her mom’s love and a child should never want that. They should have so much of it that they feel like we’re suffocating them, suffocating the