Read A Baked Ham for Free Online Page A

rather not.   How is she going to feel when folks come in
and start whispering behind her back?   It’s happened to me a time or two, and it’s not fun, trust me.”
    “If anyone says one word about
her, I’ll make them sorry that they were ever born,” Moose said angrily.
    “Hey, calm down.   You’re supposed to be turning over a new
leaf, remember?”
    My grandfather bit his lower lip,
and then his expression immediately softened.   “You’re right.   I’m going to do my
best for the rest of the day not to threaten anyone.”
    “I know that it’s asking a lot,”
I said with a grin, “but it would be great if you could follow through with
that.   So, who do we go see first?”
    Moose smiled.   “That’s a no-brainer.   I have no idea how we’re going to hunt Marcus
Jackson down if he’s not at the gym, but I know exactly where Vern Jeffries
is.”
    “How could you possibly know
that?” I asked my grandfather.
    “I drove by his new office on my
way over here, and he’s already there at his desk.   It’s time we paid a little visit to Jeffries
Insurance, don’t you think?”
    “That sounds good to me,” I
said.   “What ruse are we going to
use?   Are we telling him that we’re
thinking about changing insurance agencies for the diner?”
    Moose shook his head.   “No, if we do that, Francie Moore will hear
about it, and I don’t want her to think that we’re leaving her.   How about if we shop for a new personal
policy for you?”
    I thought about the questions
that Vern would most likely ask me, including the dreaded one about my current
weight, and I killed the idea before my grandfather grew too fond of it.   “Let’s make it you, instead.”
    “Why not?” he asked.   “I’ve got nothing to hide.”
    “Then let’s go,” I said.
    After we were in his truck and
driving to Jeffries Insurance, Moose said, “I still can’t believe somebody
smacked Benny in the back of the head with a statue hard enough to kill him.”
    “Why not?   He certainly made you angry enough last night.”
    “Victoria, he assaulted your
grandmother,” Moose said as he voice began to darken.   “I would think you’d applaud my reaction.”
    “I’m sure that Martha could have
handled things fine on her own.   In a
way, when you butted in, you robbed her of the chance to defend her own
honor.   You realize that, don’t you?”
    Moose glanced over at me, his
skepticism clear in his expression.   “What are you talking about, Victoria?   This is the South, where men are still allowed to defend the women they
love, and I hope they always will be.”
    “I’m not scolding you, Moose; I’m
just trying to show you how your wife might see it.   How has she been acting toward you since you
jumped to her defense?”
    Moose thought about it, and then
he said, “She’s been a little on edge, but I thought it was because of the
man’s murder and all.”
    “The next time you talk to her,
ask her how she felt about you coming to her rescue before she had a chance to
defend herself.   If I’m wrong, I’ll buy
you dinner.”
    “On the off chance that you’re
right, what do I have to buy you?” Moose asked.
    “I think the dinner bet stands,
but you’re going to have to take me to a much nicer place than I’m going to take you.”
    “I don’t know, Victoria.   I suppose that you could be right.   The older I
get, the more I realize that I still don’t know what makes half the human race
tick.”
    “Don’t worry.   You guys baffle us almost as much as we confuse you.   That’s what keeps things interesting, don’t you think?”
    “If you say so.”
    We arrived at the new insurance
agency, but instead of going right in, Moose said, “Wait in the truck for one
second, would you?”
    I knew better than to allow that
to happen.   “Moose, I can understand it
if you’re unhappy about me asking you not to go to the theater with me tonight,
but that doesn’t mean that you can