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“The poor guy’s on vacation 24 hours, and already you’re bugging him? Jeez, let’s just go eat somewhere else.”
    Johnny grinned, then looked at Connor. “When I go on vacation and you want to call me, do me a favor and listen to her.”
    “That’ll never happen, since you’re never going on vacation,” Connor said, then seemed to reconsider. “Maybe I shouldn’t call him.”
    I folded my arms. “Finally, some common decency.”
    Johnny looked over at me. “Lily, trust me when I say this: the only thing Sebastian likes more than reminding people they can’t get along without him… is hearing them say that they can’t get along without him.”
    Connor pointed at Johnny like You win and dialed the phone.
    “You’re both jerks, you know that?” I huffed.
    “But you’re about to benefit,” Connor said, “and without having to sacrifice your righteous indignation.”
    “I’ll take the $12.99 buffet instead.”
    “We can drop you off on our way, if you want…”
    I flipped Connor off, which he found hilarious.
    Then Sebastian’s over-the-top voice erupted from the speakerphone.
    “Oh my God, I knew it – has everything fallen apart ALREADY?”
    Johnny looked over at me like See?
    “I go away for one day, and – what is it? Are you stranded somewhere? Did someone have the audacity to cancel a meeting? Did that little floozy run out on you?”
    “HELLO!” I shouted at the phone. “I’m standing right here!”
    “Ohhhh, of course you didn’t run out. Silly me, the gravy train’s still running…”
    “Sebastian,” Connor warned.
    I snorted in mock outrage. “And to think, I tried to get them not to disturb your vacation!”
    I wasn’t really angry. Sebastian was outrageous, but he said things in such a ridiculous voice that it was hard to get worked up over them.
    But I was determined to get in my digs.
    “When the whole world’s gone to hell, you don’t NOT call the President of the United States just because he’s on vacation.”
    “Oh, you’re the President now?” Johnny asked, amused.
    “I thought you were more like the butler,” I said.
    Johnny and Connor both went “OHHHHHH!” at that one.
    “At least I’m not the call girl.”
    Connor’s face twisted in anger. He was about to throw a fit, but I beat him to the punch.
    “You bitch, ” I laughed.
    “And don’t you forget it, honey,” Sebastian said, followed by three loud, sharp noises over the speakerphone:
    Click! Click! Click!
    I sighed. “That was in a Z formation, wasn’t it.”
    “YES   IT   WAS. So, now that the butler and the call girl have finished their repartee, what can I do for you gentlemen?”
    “First, you can be nice to Lily,” Connor snapped.
    “That WAS me being nice to Lily.”
    “That’s the sad thing, unfortunately,” Connor grumbled, but I just grinned.
    “How’s your vacation so far?” Johnny asked.
    “Lovely, until you interrupted it, thank you for asking. Javier’s a dream.”
    Javier was the hairdresser in Los Angeles Sebastian had flown out to see. On very short notice. Without much warning.
    I guess it hadn’t been a problem.
    “But you didn’t call to ask about that, so what disaster shall I fix for you?”
    “I can’t get a table at Robuchon’s,” Connor said.
    “Yes, and the world is about to end,” I added.
    Connor glared at me.
    Then Sebastian spoke – with unbridled glee, I might add.
    “Whaaat?!…  STEVEN couldn’t get one for you?”
    Johnny elbowed me lightly in the ribs and arched his eyebrows like, See? See?!
    Connor sighed. “No, he couldn’t. I like him, but Steven is… insufficiently forceful, I’m afraid.”
    “Or insufficiently bitchy,” Johnny muttered.
    “I heard that, Kato.”
    “Was that racist?” Johnny asked good-naturedly.
    “Depends – does it make me the Green Hornet?” Connor asked.
    “If you mean the clueless white boy who gets all the credit while Bruce Lee does all the work, then yes, that would be you.”
    I