didn't think so.You didn't do anything, did you?"
"No, I didn't. But in a way I did."
"How do you mean?"
"I think just being there is enough. Just the fact that I'm there,
a witness, seeing what's going on, is enough of a deterrent to keep
him from doing it. So, as long as I'm following him, I can prevent
him from doing the job."
"That's one way." Alice added chopped garlic to whatever she
was cooking on the stove. It was some lamb dish or other, and I'm
sure she didn't know the name of it. Alice doesn't cook from
recipes. She makes what she calls a mishmash, inventing as she
goes. It's always delicious.
Alice was cooking late tonight because she didn't know when
I'd be home. Usually, when that happens, we order out. I think
tonight she was cooking because she was nervous and wanted
something to do.
"What do you mean, that's one way?"
"There's another way."
"What?"
"Go to the police."
"I've been to the police."
Alice set the wooden spoon on the edge of the saucepan,
turned to face me. "Oh, come on, Stanley. What do you mean,
you've been to the police? You fed MacAullif a bullshit story, got
MacAullif to trace a name. At the time you had no hard information. Now you do.You know who the guy's going to kill."
"I don't know for sure."
"Oh, come on. Is it the guy or isn't it?"
"It's the guy."
"Do you know his name?"
"Yes"
"What is it?"
I hesitated.
"Right," Alice said. "If you told me, you'd have to kill me."
"Actually, if I told you, he'd have to kill me."
"That isn't funny, Stanley. It's way beyond funny. These are
people you should not be mixed up with. If there's any way out,
you should take it"
"For instance?"
"I said if. I didn't say I knew one."
"I'm open to suggestions"
"I told you. Go to the police."
"And tell 'em what? That the English teacher they've already
checked out now has a specific target in mind?"
"Tell MacAullif the whole thing from beginning to end. Leave
nothing out. And for god's sakes, don't say hypothetical."
"What?"
"The minute you say hypothetical, he thinks it's all bullshit. You
gotta level with him. This is what happened, this is what I did, I
may have broken a few statutes along the way; if so, I gotta take my
lumps, but I'm trapped, I can't get out, and I don't want anyone to
be killed."
"You want me to turn myself in?"
"I'm not saying turn yourself in. I'm saying get yourself off
the hook."
"By turning myself in."
"Well, if you wanna argue semantics"
"Semantics"
Alice dropped pasta into boiling water, added a little salt. The
tiniest of distractions, yet it totally threw me. Not that I wasn't
thrown already.
"What do you know now that you didn't know before?"
Alice said.
"What do you mean, before?"
"Before you took the job."
"I know the mark's name and address."
"That is a fairly important piece of information"
"I also know the hitter's not going to pop him there."
"Hitter?"
"Yeah. It's better than hitman. Nonsexist."
"Stanley. I'm not in the mood."
"What about wine and candlelight?"
Alice groaned. "You're impossible."
"I'm not impossible. I'ni joking bravely in the face of death. I'm
not happy with the current situation, and I would love to get out
of it any way I could. Short of making a full confession and doing
time. The point is, the guy's safe for tonight. The shooter's not
going to take him out in his apartment"
"Shooter?"
"You didn't like hitter."
"I don't like shooter."
"How about shitter? Combination of the two."
"Stanley."
"So he's safe tonight. And he's safe tomorrow morning, too,
because our hitman has school."
"If he's for real."
"So I have until class lets out at three forty-five."
"To go to the police?"
"Actually, I'm doing cases for Richard"
"Until three forty-five? When you pick up the hitman at
school?"
"No, he picks me up at the office"
"What?"
"He doesn't want me going near the school. So he's coming by
the office instead"
"What if he doesn't show?"
I sighed, said