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couldn’t shake out the sound of her voice. I wanted to follow it as much as I wanted to smother it. The familiarity of her voice recalled an old hurt I couldn’t place.
    Faint light leaked into the room and I cursed. It was dawn already where moments ago my room was plunged in the thick of night. My breathing was still ragged, but I heaved myself to my feet, marching across the room. Just as I reached for the door, a faint clicking sound echoed. It was the sound of a lock falling into place. I thudded my palms against the wood as panic, sharp and acrid, burned in my chest.
    “Open this door! Who has locked this entrance?”
    A voice no less chilling than the unknown assailant’s greeted me.
    “Calm yourself, Mayavati,” came Mother Dhina’s crocodile croon.
    I blanched and stepped back. “Someone just tried to invade my room. I need to speak to the guards.”
    Mother Dhina laughed. “What lies you tell, child. I have half a mind to compliment your imagination. No one can get past the Raja’s sentinels—”
    “But someone was here !” I protested. “Let me out! I demand to speak—”
    “Demand?” repeated Mother Dhina. “You are not in a position to make demands. It’s a lesson you should learn now before your wedding. The Raja sent me to tell you that the swayamvara will be held in two days. Given your past conduct, the realm thought it best to ensure that you stay in one place and not hurt yourself.”
    “You mean escape?”
    “It is also best that you stay away from Gauri,” continued Mother Dhina as if I hadn’t uttered a single word. “No more meetings until the swayamvara . It is best not to infect her with your bad fortune and deplorable manners. Stop spreading ridiculous ideas in her head.”
    “I’d rather spread ideas than legs,” I hissed back. “But I doubt you would agree—”
    “ Silence , you mongrel,” said Mother Dhina. “All your life, all I have done is try to be merciful to you and bring you stability. To give you a home.”
    “You hid me away and shunned me from anyone who might get to know me. You call this mercy?”
    “I do. I spared anyone the shame of being in your presence,” she said. “The least you could have done was die. But you kept selfishly clinging to life.”
    “Do you expect me to apologize?”
    Mother Dhina laughed and it was a cold, cruel thing.
    “When the sickness claimed eight of the wives, I prayed you were next.”
    She fell quiet and her next words were soft, but no less fierce. “Do you know how many children I have buried because of you? Strong, healthy babies. Ten fingers, ten toes. A full head of hair. They just wouldn’t breathe. Because of you .”
    “That’s impossible.”
    “Your shadow touched mine. You poisoned me. You killed them. Your horoscope has only attracted darkness to our court. It’s your fault.”
    “You’re—”
    “Enough,” cut in Mother Dhina. “You have no place here. Your mother didn’t either. At least she had the good sense to die young.”
    Mother Dhina cleared her throat and this time when she spoke, it was in the cool and practiced monotone of someone who could watch you burn alive and not blink. “In keeping with Bharata’s bridal traditions, you will be isolated to maintain the utmost purity.”
    “You can’t do that!” I screamed, slamming my fists against the door. “I am telling you someone was in here. If you’re truly merciful, let me out, let me speak to the Raja.”
    Footsteps resounded in the distance. I screamed after her, but my sounds chased nothing but echoes. Mother Dhina had left. The panels of wood chaffed, scuffed and scratched beneath my fists, but they never budged. Again and again, I threw myself against the door. I screamed until voice was an echo of something I once knew. I yelled until I felt unspooled and even whispering made me wince. I slid against the door, cradling my bloodied knuckles to my chest.
    Perhaps this was a dream, some horrible illusion that would soon