Read Mysteries According to Humphrey for Free Online Page A

I was not!
    Principal Morales might have told all the families about Mrs. Brisbane last night, but nobody told me! Would Mr. E. be taking over just for now . . . or would it be forever?
    I was so worried, I could hardly concentrate on our classwork that morning. Not that there was much. Mr. E. started off the day by having all the students share their jokes. That was their homework, after all.
    My friends’ jokes were pretty funny.
    Hurry-Up-Harry had a good one. “Why does a stork stand on one leg?” he asked. His answer: “Because if it raised both legs, it would fall down.”
    And Rolling-Rosie made everyone groan when she asked, “What’s brown and sticky? A stick!”
    Phoebe forgot to bring a joke. “But I know one,” she said. “What do you say to a crying whale? Quit your blubbering!”
    Everyone seemed so happy, I began to think maybe nothing bad had happened to Mrs. Brisbane at all. Maybe she’d just gone on vacation.
    But then I remembered her saying, “See you in the morning.”
    I’ve learned enough about humans to know that they don’t leave on vacations without planning ahead.
    Especially a human like Mrs. Brisbane.
    Â 
    HUMPHREY’S DETECTIONARY: Clues can make you WORRY-WORRY-WORRY.

5
    The Case of the Afternoon Accident

    T he rest of the morning was a blur.
    First, Mr. E. reached in his sack and pulled out a big rolled-up map. He tacked it on the bulletin board and taught my friends a game called Map Attack. I couldn’t really see what was going on because they stood in front of the map and blocked my view. It got very noisy, and the rest of the class seemed to have fun.
    Next came Animal Addition. This time, Mr. E. pulled out finger puppets in different animal shapes and the class played some kind of adding and subtracting game. I don’t know why they needed
fake
animals when there were two perfectly good
real
animals in the room. But nobody seemed to notice Og and me.
    My classmates enjoyed the game, but I thought the problems were a little easy for them. Especially for Small-Paul, who is a math whiz.
    Then right after lunch, something odd happened.
    The door opened and my friends all streamed in, talking and giggling as usual.
    But when they were all in their seats, I noticed that one chair was empty. Were they playing the game they’d played yesterday?
    â€œWho’s missing?” I squeaked loudly.
    I guess I didn’t squeak loudly enough.
    Luckily, Helpful-Holly also noticed that Harry was missing.
    â€œExcuse me, Mr. E.?” she said.
    â€œYes, Holly?” he asked.
    She pointed at Harry’s empty chair. “Harry didn’t come back from lunch.”
    Mr. E. looked at the empty chair and scratched his head. “Oh,” he said. “Does anyone know where he is?”
    I didn’t have any idea, and neither did any of my friends.
    Holly’s hand shot up. “I’ll go look for him,” she said.
    â€œI’m sure he’ll turn up in a minute,” Mr. E. said.
    I don’t think Mrs. Brisbane would ever say that. She’d worked hard since the beginning of school to help Hurry-Up-Harry learn to be on time.
    Mrs. Brisbane spends a lot of time thinking up ways to help her students. Or at least she
did
.
    I spent a lot of time thinking up ways to help Mrs. Brisbane. But how could I help her if she wasn’t here?
    Mr. E. was trying to tell my friends how to play Word War when the door opened and Harry strolled in.
    â€œWelcome back,” Mr. E. said. “Glad you can join us.”
    â€œThanks,” Harry said.
    That was it! Did Mr. E. think it was fine for Harry to come to class whenever he felt like it?
    The game began when Mr. E. wrote a word on the board. Then two students ran up and made a list of new words by adding letters to the beginning or end. They started with
ate
and wrote
mate
and
hate,
then
hated,
late,
later,
and
slate.
    Whoever came up with