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searching until I find the truth. That I am on to him. But all that comes out is, “Pretty terrible what happened to him, huh?”
    “I’m not all broken up about it. That guy was pathetic. The only thing that ‘happened to him’ was his own fear. Suicide doesn’t ‘happen’ to you.”
    I feel my skin getting hot. “Well, he didn’t kill himself, actually.”
    “How do you know?”
    “He wouldn’t have. He had too much going for him. Like seeing Helen.” Good. That should get a rise out of him.
    No rise. “Ron could have had Helen for all I care. She was a bitch and he was a crybaby. They deserved each other.”
    “So you hated him?”
    Behind Theo, a pretty girl steps into the doorway. “Who’s that, babe?”
    “I don’t know, babe. Go watch TV.”
    The girl looks concerned, but nods and slips quietly out of view. I guess it didn’t take Theo long to bounce back from losing the girl he’d planned to marry.
    Theo steps forward and closes the door behind him so the pretty girl can’t hear us. “You have a point for coming here, buddy?”
    “I—”
    “’Cause if you do, get to it now, or get the fuck off my porch. And if you don’t, just get the fuck off my porch.”
    “I just wanted to know how you feel about Ron’s death.”
    “What do you care how I feel?”
    “I know you own a few guns.”
    “And?”
    “And Ron didn’t own one.”
    Theo laughs; he gets my point. “You watch too much
Law and Order
, jerk-off. That kid wasn’t worth the effort. He was an impotent, poetry-writing fag. He was in love with Helen for years. We all knew it. And the reason I never did anything about it was because he wasn’t a real man. If he was, he would’ve told her how he felt and let the chips fall where they may. Instead, he waited four years until she got tired of me and decided to try him out. If I’d wanted to kill that kid, I wouldn’t have needed a gun. I would’ve just beat him to death. Look: I’m sure you’re upset that your friend blew his head off, but it’s not my problem.”
    “What about Helen?”
    “What about her? She wanted him, she got him. Other fish in the sea. I was fuckin’ this one and Helen at the same time, anyway.” He points behind him with his thumb to indicate the girl in the house. “Was havin’ a hard time figuring out which one to be with. Helen made it easy for me. She’s a cunt and all, but I do feel a little sorry for her now that the sissy went and shot himself. Tough break. Kinda serves her right, but not like I’m actually glad the guy’s dead. That’s harsh.”
    “Watch what you say.” I curl my fists at my sides.
    “You came to me, bud. My porch. You don’t like it, fuck off. You wanna hit me? Please do. I’d like an excuse to kick your face in.”
    I take a step back. “You’re even more of an asshole than Ron said.”
    Theo steps toward me and cocks his body forward like he’s about to punch me. He does it to make me flinch. I don’t. I stare at him, realizing that I want him to punch me just as much as he wants me to punch him.
    We have a staring contest, which Theo breaks by saying, “Go. You ain’t gonna do nothin’, and I’m gettin’ bored. I would rather be inside scratchin’ my ass instead of standing here waiting for you to decide if you want to punch me or kiss me.”
    I shake my head and start walking backward toward the street. “If I need something from you, I know where to find you.”
    Theo laughs at my lame excuse for a threat. “You ever need a gun so you can do yourself in and be with your boyfriend again, you come see me.”
    * * *
    Driving home from Theo’s, I’m disappointed. My one suspect can’t be the killer. Not because he isn’t jealous of Ron for taking Helen, because he is to some extent, but he’s clearly not devastated enough. Theo also doesn’t have the brains to pull off killing Ron and making it look like suicide. If Theo killed Ron, he would have left behind so much evidence that he’d already